Too much...Happily Exhausted.

I'm writing what I have to do so...maybe...it would help me to fix my schedule...my anxiety.

Beside all the good things are happening right now...I'm exhausted...happily exhausted...
I would really need an assistant...an intern...a team, someone who can support me... someone who would like to share my thoughts would be enough sometimes...
Everyday I think I still need to work more...to fight more and learn more (specially how to get paid) ) to arrive somewhere...where is it that somewhere?maybe I'm already there and like the happiness is escaping while I try to reach its perfection.

The only thing I'm sure about these days is that I'm tired.

I'm listening Bonobo Radio...I 'm looking at the sun outside...i would like to have more time to feel the warm and stare its shadows...i would like to dream in the daytime..and smile about it.
It's not happening today...the only thing I can see it's the shadow of my finger typing clumsily on the keyboard.

It's Sunday, I'm at my desk trying to adv our firm..i spend usually at least 3 days a week updating profiles, blogs, design accounts...and usually one of those days is Sunday...because free advertising is something to do in a day off :)..

Obviously.

I have 3 new project is San Diego ( that city loves me more than I love it!!!it' s like with a man...Damn it!)  and I'm working to get my first "big" project in Downtown Los Angeles, I'm trying to close the deal with Bijing, they want me there for 3 months...but 3 months in China would be too much...would be impossible...who is gonna work oin the projects here? aaaaa...i want this project but how can I do?
I sent out my e-mail with my requests last week...will see.

For now I'm waiting for an answer...I'm waiting for something too much lately....waiting for... is more exhausting to fight for something.
Because of this I'm trying to not think about the waiting list is pending on my wall...

and...the italian project...is there and I can't get started as i wish...
beautiful and fun projects are covered with dust of tireness...where is my freshness?

I need a vacation.

I need to work too.

I need to be happy.

Ctrl-Arch featured on Hospitality Design Magazine August 2010